Motivated

Since Todd has been gone, I had a goal to lose all of my baby weight and get down to my ideal weight. Well, my schedule has been crazy, it's been uber cold or snowy, and my treadmill was in my freezing garage. Needless to say, not a lot was accomplished, and I actually put on another 3 lbs. after the holidays and such. That was the middle of January. I decided that I just needed to buckle down and get things done. So, I started really sticking to my diet (which I was doing fine with before for the most part), and decided to ask my home teacher to help me move my treadmill into my front room. There's not a whole lot of room, and I have to move my couch everytime I use it and then move everything back afterwards, but it's been worth it. In the last 3 1/2 weeks, I've lost 7 1/2 lbs. I could have easily reached my ultimate goal before Todd came home, but because of my late start, I've had to set a new goal. It's only about 7 lbs. off, but still. It is a little discouraging to not be where I hoped I would be, but I'm very happy with where I will be when he's home. Then once he's home, I plan to lose the last 7 lbs. before my birthday in May, which is completely doable.
I've been very focused, but it hasn't been easy. There are days that I just want to EAT! Like today. It was Fast Sunday, so I was excited because I should have automatically not used as many calories today. But I came home, and over the course of the last couple of hours, still ate the meals I would have regularly eaten. I've noticed that Sundays are hard for me. They're hard because I'm just home most of the day and I'm home with Jenny. I don't know why that matters, but it does. I'm not the kind of person who is an emotional eater, or a person who eats to deal with problems . . .until her. And I still don't do it for that reason, but when I don't want to be around her, I usually want to get out for a while. Well, what can I do out of the house, that can get me away for awhile . . .usually going out to eat. So now I just find my self hungry anytime she does something that starts bugging me. It reminds me of Pavlov's dogs. I've trained myself to be hungry when she's around. So, even though today should have been a good day for calories, I've wolfed down 3 meals since 2 pm. Now, I'm still being good and not going over, but I should have been way under for today. And I'm still VERY hungry. (It's been a rough day.)
But the weekdays will come, and my schedule will get back to normal. Yet I know, the weekends are still coming, and there's also a holiday where there will be no work, so I still have a couple of bumps along my road before I cross my finish line. But I am still motivated. I have 11 1/2 lbs. to go to reach my ideal. I'd have 21 1/2 to go to reach my pre-any-baby weight, but I don't think that would be a healthy weight for me, so I'm sticking with what the experts say should be my weight.
And, just so you don't think that weight is all I think about, I know that that's not the most important thing. I'm just looking for healthy and fit, but I know from experience where my body is at it's best, and that happens to coincide with a #. I just feel good when I'm eating healthier and exercising regularly. I really miss my runs if something in my schedule makes a run not possible.
**(Disclaimer-- I'm getting on a soapbox here.) I have people that are always telling me that I don't need to lose weight. And I know that it's not a bad thing, and that it's meant as a compliment, and I in no way take it the wrong way, but I just want people to understand my side of things. I may be smaller than other people, but that doesn't mean that I can't be the size that my body is meant to be. If a woman who's a size 10 puts and keeps on 30 lbs. from having children and another is a size 4 and keeps on 30 lbs. from having children, shouldn't the smaller woman have just as much of a right to lose the weight as the first one? It's not the smaller one having an unrealistic view of her body. She just wants her body back.
Anyway, I guess that's my ramble for the day.